Numbers Chapter 11 · Verse 15
And if thou deal thus with me, kill me, I pray thee, out of hand, if I have found favour in thy sight; and let me not see my wretchedness.
Original Language Analysis
וְאִם
H518
וְאִם
Strong's:
H518
Word #:
1 of 15
used very widely as demonstrative, lo!; interrogative, whether?; or conditional, if, although; also oh that!, when; hence, as a negative, not
כָּ֣כָה׀
H3602
עֹ֣שֶׂה
And if thou deal
H6213
עֹ֣שֶׂה
And if thou deal
Strong's:
H6213
Word #:
4 of 15
to do or make, in the broadest sense and widest application
נָא֙
H4994
נָא֙
Strong's:
H4994
Word #:
7 of 15
'i pray', 'now', or 'then'; added mostly to verbs (in the imperative or future), or to interjections, occasionally to an adverb or conjunction
אִם
H518
אִם
Strong's:
H518
Word #:
9 of 15
used very widely as demonstrative, lo!; interrogative, whether?; or conditional, if, although; also oh that!, when; hence, as a negative, not
מָצָ֥אתִי
if I have found
H4672
מָצָ֥אתִי
if I have found
Strong's:
H4672
Word #:
10 of 15
properly, to come forth to, i.e., appear or exist; transitively, to attain, i.e., find or acquire; figuratively, to occur, meet or be present
חֵ֖ן
favour
H2580
חֵ֖ן
favour
Strong's:
H2580
Word #:
11 of 15
graciousness, i.e., subjective (kindness, favor) or objective (beauty)
בְּעֵינֶ֑יךָ
in thy sight
H5869
בְּעֵינֶ֑יךָ
in thy sight
Strong's:
H5869
Word #:
12 of 15
an eye (literally or figuratively); by analogy, a fountain (as the eye of the landscape)
וְאַל
H408
וְאַל
Strong's:
H408
Word #:
13 of 15
not (the qualified negation, used as a deprecative); once (job 24:25) as a noun, nothing
Cross References
Jeremiah 20:18Wherefore came I forth out of the womb to see labour and sorrow, that my days should be consumed with shame?Jonah 4:3Therefore now, O LORD, take, I beseech thee, my life from me; for it is better for me to die than to live.1 Kings 19:4But he himself went a day's journey into the wilderness, and came and sat down under a juniper tree: and he requested for himself that he might die; and said, It is enough; now, O LORD, take away my life; for I am not better than my fathers.Exodus 32:32Yet now, if thou wilt forgive their sin--; and if not, blot me, I pray thee, out of thy book which thou hast written.Zephaniah 3:15The LORD hath taken away thy judgments, he hath cast out thine enemy: the king of Israel, even the LORD, is in the midst of thee: thou shalt not see evil any more.
Historical Context
Moses' death request must be understood in context of his mediatorial role. As the one who stood between God and Israel, Moses bore unique burden—seeing both God's holiness and the people's sin, experiencing the tension between divine justice and covenant mercy. Earlier, Moses had offered himself in Israel's place: 'Yet now, if thou wilt forgive their sin—; and if not, blot me, I pray thee, out of thy book' (Exodus 32:32). Moses' willingness to suffer or die for Israel prefigured Christ's actual substitutionary death for His people.
Questions for Reflection
- What does Moses' request for death reveal about the reality of ministerial burden and the importance of having honest conversations with God about our struggles?
- How does God's response (providing elders to share the burden) rather than granting Moses' request demonstrate God's wisdom in answering prayers—often giving what we truly need rather than what we desperately want?
Analysis & Commentary
Moses' prayer reaches its climax: 'And if thou deal thus with me, kill me, I pray thee, out of hand.' This shocking request reveals the depth of Moses' despair—he preferred death to continued burden of leading rebellious Israel. Yet this wasn't merely despair but also faith: Moses believed death would be preferable to dishonoring God through inadequate leadership or to watching God judge the people.
The conditional 'if I have found favour in thy sight' shows Moses still sought God's will. He wasn't demanding death but requesting it as an alternative if the burden wouldn't otherwise be lifted. The phrase 'let me not see my wretchedness' (Hebrew ra'ati, רָעָתִי) could mean either 'my wretchedness' or 'their wretchedness'—Moses couldn't bear either his own misery or the people's impending judgment.
This prayer parallels other biblical figures who requested death under overwhelming burden: Elijah (1 Kings 19:4), Jonah (Jonah 4:3), and Job (Job 6:8-9). God's response to such prayers is typically not granting death but providing help and perspective. The request reveals both the reality of ministerial burden and the danger of focusing on circumstances rather than God's faithfulness. Christ alone legitimately said, 'My soul is exceeding sorrowful, even unto death' (Matthew 26:38), bearing the ultimate burden of humanity's sin.