Job 10:19
I should have been as though I had not been; I should have been carried from the womb to the grave.
Original Language Analysis
כַּאֲשֶׁ֣ר
H834
כַּאֲשֶׁ֣ר
Strong's:
H834
Word #:
1 of 7
who, which, what, that; also (as an adverb and a conjunction) when, where, how, because, in order that, etc
לֹא
H3808
לֹא
Strong's:
H3808
Word #:
2 of 7
not (the simple or abs. negation); by implication, no; often used with other particles
הָיִ֣יתִי
H1961
הָיִ֣יתִי
Strong's:
H1961
Word #:
3 of 7
to exist, i.e., be or become, come to pass (always emphatic, and not a mere copula or auxiliary)
אֶהְיֶ֑ה
H1961
אֶהְיֶ֑ה
Strong's:
H1961
Word #:
4 of 7
to exist, i.e., be or become, come to pass (always emphatic, and not a mere copula or auxiliary)
Historical Context
Ancient cultures recognized stillbirth as tragedy for the child denied life yet also understood it as escaping suffering's burdens. Job's preference for stillbirth over living reflects how extreme suffering can invert normal values, making death seem better than life.
Questions for Reflection
- How does union with Christ provide the eternal significance that makes existence meaningful despite suffering?
- What does Job's desire for non-existence teach about pastoral ministry to the suicidal?
- In what ways does resurrection hope transform our assessment of whether existence is worthwhile?
Analysis & Commentary
Job wishes for stillborn death: 'I should have been as though I had not been; I should have been carried from the womb to the grave.' The phrase 'as though I had not been' (kelo hayiti, כְּלֹא הָיִיתִי) expresses desire for complete non-existence. Direct passage 'from womb to grave' (mibeten laqeber, מִבֶּטֶן לַקֶּבֶר) describes stillbirth—never breathing, never knowing conscious existence. Job envisions this as preferable to his current suffering.
The verse reveals suffering's power to make non-existence seem better than existence. Job doesn't merely want death now but retroactive non-existence—to erase his entire life as though it never occurred. This isn't theological nihilism but experiential despair. Job maintains God's reality while questioning whether his own existence has value. The lament is intensely personal—not 'life is meaningless' but 'my life is unbearable.'
The gospel transforms this: Christ makes our existence eternally meaningful by uniting us to Himself. Believers' lives are 'hid with Christ in God' (Colossians 3:3)—our existence matters infinitely because connected to His. Job wants erasure; Christ provides eternal significance. Job wants non-existence; Christ provides resurrection life that cannot end.